Writing today’s blog has been something I have been dreading all week. Being a realist, the news expected from today’s Oncology appointment always felt as though it was never really going to change anything due to the advanced stage the Cancer had reached.
There was the hope that a Christmas Miracle would occur but having already discovered how aggressively Dad’s cancer had spread, the likelihood of walking away from today’s news, feeling positive, was always going to be a tall order.
The medical report from earlier this month makes for grim bedtime reading and this coupled with how poorly he has been this week has just made it feel that things have started to come to a head.
Don’t get me wrong, this week has had some incredible highs. My brother and his two kids came over and we all got to spend some incredible time together. It was particularly special being able to watch him spend time with his grand-kids who he adores. The problem is, he has still been recovering from his spell in hospital and his energy levels and thirst for life is at an all-time low, the lowest since this all started last year.
Today also didn’t get off to the best of starts with Dad taking a turn for the worse with the same symptoms being experienced from just a couple of weeks ago. Having got to the hospital early, they did a blood test and confirmed that the results were bad and that his sodium levels were once again very low.
The fact that his sodium levels have plummeted so quickly is not a good sign. Due to the control the Cancer now has on his body, treatment options are extremely limited, with any option unlikely to provide any significant amount of improvement without potentially impacting his quality of life.
Two options have been discussed:
Option 1 was that a third round of Chemotherapy could be administered. It was made clear though that the likelihood of this providing a good result was slim. The Cancer has grown in mass, strength and intelligence. Such with antibiotics it is finding a way of fighting back thus causing the positive effects of the Chemo to be reduced if not simply eradicated.
Option 2 was for him to take part in a clinical trial which is being run from the hospital in Valencia. This is known as Immunotherapy Chemo. In short this is a new class of cancer treatment that works to harness the innate powers of the immune system to help fight the Cancer. However, little is known as to the impact this will have on Dad with the advanced stage his Cancer has reached, especially considering the growth and spread that has now occurred.
Awkwardly though, neither option can even be considered at this stage, due to how unwell he is. Chemo could kill him and Immunotherapy is just an unknown entity.
So, Mission 1 is to help him recover from the low sodium levels in his body. Rather than keep him in hospital this time, they have given him the choice to be at home for Christmas (with home visits planned). They felt this would be better for him psychologically.
Therefore, he has been given some sodium tablets to take each day for the next week. The problem is that he has been placed on a restricted liquid diet meaning he is not to drink anything, other than a minimal intake of water. The reason being that the fluids would simply flush out the sodium which his body needs time to absorb. The side effect of this is that dehydration could set in causing its own problems and meaning the home treatment would need to cease with immediate effect. We would then have to take him to hospital for ‘Plan B’ to be activated which would be the all day sodium drip with ongoing observations.
The doctor is keen for the home treatment method to occur first as she wants him home for Christmas. No commitment has been made over the time my Dad may have left but it has been suggested that we are now talking a matter of weeks, as opposed to months. The doctor asked what he wanted in terms of ‘the end’ and he responded saying that he wants it to happen in Spain. Dad also asked if the end was imminent and her response was simply “I hope not”.
Dad, as you know by now, is a fighter. He is aware that the end is now drawing closer, though is not allowing himself to give up. Despite feeling terrible and having discussed some extremely morbid topics today, he still managed to find time to ask after all the nurses whom he wanted to say Merry Christmas to. He even managed to steal a couple of crafty hugs.
Also at this stage I just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their support. Regardless of how bleak the news and outlook is, we remain strong, focused, resilient and together as one.
Christmas is a time where families, loved ones and friends gather to share a laugh, argue with each other, over-indulge and tell bad jokes. I can assure you that our Christmas this year will be no different. The gloomy grey cloud can wait, for now we celebrate life and the time we have.
Christmas Miracles do happen. We were blessed with yet another one together.
Merry Christmas one and all xxxxxx