Freedom, well kind of… (Blog 3)

Hospital Lluis Alcanyis

My Grandad died in hospital as he went in and never came out. I can only begin to imagine how my dad was feeling. A couple of tears rolled down his cheek as we drove away from the hospital. He was ecstatic and relieved to be on-route home to his castle. As were we all. He said it was silly to be crying. My dad is a gentle giant though this is a side he often hides. I’m secretly pleased to witness this moment.

We had been armed with a list do’s, don’ts etc… though none of us truthfully knew what to expect. We were all different people and we all had our own ways of dealing with things.

For the baby of my family, I have somehow built a great deal of strength and was pleased to be holding my head up high. Don’t get me wrong, I was screaming inside but that was for me to conceal at this moment in time. My role would be to do as my dad would. A role I would cherish in order to make my dad happy. House maintenance, pool painting and very bad joke telling.

My mum is a little more, how do I put this sensitively… emotional than I am. She wears her heart on her sleeve and this comes out in one of two ways, tears – lots of or anger – lots of. Either way though her heart is always without fail in the right place.

Alan is a calming influence and a long-time family friend. Whilst hurting too he would play the role of keeping things ticking over. He also has a better grasp of Spanish and so translator role would fall at his feet.  

David my partner was there as he too feels a strong connection with my dad. He is also the ‘real’ voice that I need. His own mum worked in a cancer ward and so her experiences passed on through him would in time provide a real comfort. Also he was there for me. He would never admit this, but I know he was.  

My dad – Mr Bionic just wants to go for a climb up the mountain and get back to normality. Unfortunately his body has other ideas and he ends up being held back – both by his body though rightly all wrongly by his wife of almost 40 years. They clearly love each other but boy they are polar opposite at times lol.

The wait for the results was on and we were told 10 working days. My dad was asking all the right questions as to what may be, what could be, what shouldn’t be though giving the answers was not always easy. None of us had been through this before, or at least not with someone that meant so much to us.

Having come out of hospital on Tuesday 8th we were shocked to receive a call from the hospital on the Friday after inviting us in for our results on Tuesday 15th. This felt way too quick though couldn’t have come soon enough. Conflicting answers started to absorb our every thought. The what ifs, the how come its’ so quick, the lack of knowledge, lack of power was difficult to take. This was one situation we had no control of and had to just ride along as best we could.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s